The law of unintended consequences! (wiki)

I’ve written two posts (one, two) previously complaining about NTL Ireland’s poor customer service. Others responded but it seems like NTL Ireland may have the last laugh. And it’s based on a true story!!

I bet the committee that came up this name thought it was really catchy.

Seriously though, the letter that came with this envelope was to do with an opt-in marketing campaign, rather than opt-out. Which is still not good.

Edit: May have got my knickers in a twist & now having trouble remembering what opt-in & opt-out means. In this case, Eircom say that, even when I stop using their service, they will sell my personal data to other companies, unless I specifically tell them not to.

A friend needed a passport renewal form and called into Drogheda Garda Station for one.  She couldn’t get one because the Superintendent (or Sergeant) had the key to the stationary room and wouldn’t be back until Monday.

Onto Dundalk Garda Station for the form. She spent an age queueing behind a Northern Ireland women who also wanted an (Irish) passport renewal form.  The Garda was convinced that she couldn’t get one because she wasn’t ‘Irish’ and she’d need a visa anyway.  The Newry woman made a convincing argument about the ‘Free State’ and the Constitution.  After consulting with a colleague, he gave the Newry woman her application form without a hint of embarrassment.

The Direct Marketing sector regards the telephone as one of its most successful tools. Consumers experience telemarketing from a completely different point of view: more than 92% perceive commercial telephone calls as a violation of privacy.

Telemarketers make use of a telescript – a guideline for a telephone conversation. This script creates an imbalance in the conversation between the marketer and the consumer. It is this imbalance, most of all, that makes telemarketing successful. The EGBG Counterscript attempts to redress that balance.

I’ve had a Garmin satnav gadget for my car for the past couple of months. It’s a stupid thing really: paying a couple of hundred euro when a map costs around a tenner. But it gets me from A to B. It broke recently in that it would detect the satellites in space but the two wouldn’t talk to each other. Their website said you could email or phone for help. Unfortunately, they didn’t list an email address so I had to phone their British call centre.

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Their operative listened to my story and didn’t try any nonsense. She even knew there were no post codes in Ireland when she took my address. She just gave me an Returns number and told me I’d have to pay the postage to their UK centre. So, last Wednesday, I paid €11 to send it by registered post to the UK. I didn’t hear anything from them until today when a courier dropped a brand new replacement unit! That was a one week turnaround, including postage!

So, all in all, I’m a happy camper. I’m disappointed that it broke so soon but their customer service is friendly and efficient.

It’s Sunday evening and I’m wondering what programme will caress me gently into sleep mode before tomorrow’s return to work. Hmm, Channel 6 have a listing for “Law and Order” at 9.30pm. Now I like Law & Order, but there’s so many repeats on so many TV stations that I like to check in advance what episode I’ll be watching.

Channel 6′s website is weird and very non-functional. For example, their main page advertises ‘The Airfield Sessions’ (live music) but doesn’t tell me when it starts or when it’s on*. Crucially, I can’t find any info on what tonight’s episode of Law & Order is about.

Heck, they don’t even have listings for Sat or Sunday…but they do have pretty girls** who present the music videos. So that’s alright then!

* Update – There’s no link on the main page but there is this page but it’s effectively a dead link!
** Are there any male presenters (not voiceover) on Channel 6?

Maybe they should call the station Chanel 6?

Sigh, here we go again…

A Brazilian friend is moving to a new apartment. It’s all a bit sudden…her partner died recently and she can’t afford the rent. Her English isn’t very good and she’s a bit nervous about ‘officialdom‘ because of her dealings with the immigration people. She wanted to cancel her NTL subscription and asked me to do it.

Long story short…I eventually spoke to a real human being and explained the situation. It went something like this…
.

– You can’t cancel on her behalf.
– But her English isn’t great and she’s in a bad place right now.
– She’ll have to phone herself to cancel. We’re open until 10pm [I maybe misunderstood the closing time]
– But she’s working until late [Spar-type shop] and she’s gotta move out tomorrow. [I didn't mention she didn't have the money to waste waiting and waiting for someone to answer the phone. Nor would she understand the 'press 1 for, press 2 for...]
– I’m sorry but she’ll have to phone herself.
– Do you have anyone there who speaks Portugese or Spanish?
– Err, I’ve no idea. [Puts on helpful hat]. You could write in to cancel?
– Let me get this straight. You’ll accept a cancellation letter from me but you won’t accept a verbal cancellation from me?
– Yes.
– 10% of the population are non-nationals now. Do you have anyone there who speaks foreign languages.
– Err, I’ve no idea.

Let’s be honest realistic. If we wrote the letter, NTL would lose it and they’d maintain they never got it. They’d chase her for the arrears, threatening her with court action etc and further traumatise her.

So I’ve now got to send registered letters to NTL, my friend, myself, and copy the bank to cancel the direct debit. And, in six months time, I’ll almost certainly write again that they’re chasing her for money that she doesn’t owe.

Or maybe it’s a cunning plan? A normal person might not be able to read the sign but a drunk staggering up the road might be able to read it as he weaved from side to side?

I have to admit there’s a better class of wino on the Southside. As I cycled from town out to Dun Laoghaire, I was surprised to see them on the beaches ‘happy out’ with their cans of beer. They really seemed to be enjoying themselves and they weren’t threatening to anyone. It was a different story when I returned to the Northside.

On Dorset St, three police officers in two cars were watching over an unconscious junkie until the ambulance arrived. He was wearing all his clothes, and he wore the hood of his parka jacket up over his head. Maybe he needed to sleep and the hood was to keep out the sunshine? Still, it seemed to be a pleasant interlude in the afternoon sun for the three Guards and the sleeping junkie.

As I mentioned in my last entry, I came down here to Dungarvan last Friday to collect a painting I’d bought recently. I travelled here on my own as I only intended to stay a day or two. But, a week later, I’m still here and, oddly enough, I’m having the time of my life.

Previously, Dungarvan would have failed my ‘Wet Wednesday in November’ test. By that, I mean I would have despaired at the unavailability of the newspapers before 9am, or the lack of cultural activities, and the shortage of good food (The Tannery being a notable exception). The local ‘O’Briens Sandwich Bar’ doesn’t open until ‘shortly’ after the official 10am opening. The urban-dweller in me couldn’t understand how the locals managed without their morning take-out coffee!

But this time it’s different. It’s still the same town, with the same expensive prices and shoddy customer service (Lady Belle excepted), but there’s an energy about the place that’s infectious. The local shops are getting touched up in anticipation of the tourist season. The €10 ‘meat and two veg’ restaurants are abuzz with activity as their new furniture is delivered. Even one of the local bookshops is shut temporarily as, I dunno. they dust their shelves? As far as I know, school is still ongoing. But there can’t be too long to go to summer holidays and the teenagers are itching to be set free. They’re itching to get going in other ways as well. The local public parks are virtual no-go area’s in the early evenings as the teenagers have a roll around ‘in the hay’ before their school buses take them home to their (presumably) unsuspecting parents.

Spring is definitely in the air and I’ve a spring in my step as the long weekend approaches. Think I’ll grab another pint.

In the letter, Bank of Ireland wrote:

‘The Bank is concerned that your ATM/Laser card details may have been compromised, and we wish to replace your card as a precaution‘.

It’s almost cliched to say it but there was a large sum (to me) of money resting in my account. I got my new cards today so the panic is over.

I must say the bank handled it quite well. They wrote to me with their concerns and included a contact number if I wanted further information. I rang the number and the cynic in me smiled when I got an answer machine. I left my contact details and they did actually phone me back within 20 mins. Apparently, there was a possible skimming scam in the College Green area and my name/bank details were on the list of potential victims. The bank wanted to replace my card to ‘break the chain’. She wouldn’t tell me if it was a cash machine or shop that had been compromised, which is understandable.

The weird thing is that I’ve never used a cash machine around College Green because of the risk of tampered machines (!) and I generally don’t use my laser card. I normally use ATM machines in shops because I believe they’d be harder to interfere with? I’m now wondering if I’m right or wrong in that assumption?

Still, kudos to Bank of Ireland. As promised, my new PIN number arrived yesterday and my new card was in my branch today. I wonder why I haven’t heard much about it the media though?

Co-incidently, two Southerners were arrested in the North for an alleged skimming incident. I love the phrase that breakingnews.ie used –

The pair…were being held on suspicion of going equipped for theft

P.S. I didn’t lose any money.