Quirky Quotes (not)
Posted on September 7, 2006
Filed Under books, design, newspapers, odd, science, transport, work | Comments Off
For reasons best known to (insert your God’s name here), who is in charge of Karma, a copy of Handling Network, The Magazine of the Irish Handling and Distribution Industry, pops through my letterbox every two months. I have no idea why I was chosen. But, as with spam email, I’ve reluctant to contact them because then they’ll know I really do exist. The magazine is full of ergonomic breakthroughs, telescopic gadgets and other miscellany that are vital to our economic success. There’s also plenty of photos of happy, smiley sales managers standing outside anonymous warehouses congratulating the warehouse manager on his new purchase.
One article that caught my eye for more than one second was the automated shoebox sorter that is used by Holland’s largest shoe distributor. I didn’t read the article so you’ll have to visit their website for more information. There was a photo, of course, but I thought it was strange that the employee had to wear a hairnet to use the automated shoebox sorting machine. I guess it does make sense in a strange, let’s not get sued-sort of way, but hairnets and labcoats are a step too far for a shoebox company. Having said that, in my company, there is a serious proposal to issue our van drivers with suncream. Why? Because during the Summer, they may drive around their routes with their arm resting on the door frame of their van. And-they-may-get-skin-cancer, And that’s Health and Safety, so there.
But, I digress…
On the (almost) back page, they have the obligatory crossword and the ‘funny ha ha’ column. And today it was ‘Quirky Quotes‘:
– Conway’s Law: In any organisation there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.
– Don’t aspire to become irreplaceable – if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
– The world is divided into people who do things – and people who get the credit.
– Hard work is the key to success – but most people would rather pick the lock.
– People are willing to do an honest day’s work – the trouble is they want a week’s pay for it.
– If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence that you tried.
Skipping quickly to the end…
– You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.
– Never do today that which will before someone else’s responsibility tomorrow.
– Remember, no one is ever listening to you, until you fart.
And…The finale? The punchline?
…And from David Brent…of ‘The Office’ fame
I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some b*stard with a torch, bringing me more work.
The bizarre thing, to me anyway, is that it’s seems to have been in existence for seven years. Even weirder is the mind who thought of the idea. Even weirder is that they chose to send it to me. I need to get out more often!
