Mental note: use email in future

Posted on June 15, 2006
Filed Under funny, society | Comments Off

This conversation really happened and I think it might explain why women can go away on holiday together, return home, and still feel the need to phone the other when she gets home!

Mel answered the phone when I rang one of our English branches looking for Simon at 5pm today. Now I’ve only met Mel once for about 30 seconds. She’s an office temp covering for maternity leave so I just smiled and said hi. At the time I never thought I’d see or speak to her again.

So, anyway, Mel answers the phone…

Mel: Hello, credit control
isadub: Hi…is that Mel? Hi, it’s isadub from Dublin. I was looking for Simon.
Mel: Hi isadub. No, he’s not here. He’s left to watch the football match.
isadub: What match? Oh yeah, England are playing. Who are they playing?
Mel: Trinidad & Tobago.
isadub: Ok, can I leave a message? Can you tell him I called?
Mel: Sure.
isadub: Thanks. Well I better let you go – you probably want to get off and watch the match.
Mel: No, I don’t like football. Guess who I’m supporting, haha? (Mel is a black English woman).

isadub opens his mouth to reply but…

Mel: That’s right – I always support the Caribbean teams.
isadub: Of course.
Mel: I mean, I’m English right, but you gotta support your roots. My family is from Jamaica.
isadub: Yeah, family’s important.
Mel: You’re right. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m English. I don’t like football so I’ll support Trinidad in a football match. But if it was cricket, like England playing the West Indies, I’d have to support England. Cricket’s good.
isadub: Yeah…yeah, roots are important.

Aside: At this stage in the conversation, I’m still involved and listening. I’m thinking should I tell her about how I got one question wrong in the aptitude test when I joined the company – how it was a cricket question and how it (cricket the game) annoyed & baffled me. Seriously, any sport where the players have a teabreak is not a sport. But then…

Mel: It’s difficult having different loyalities. Like I wanted to join the TA (Territorial Army) once but they wouldn’t let me join. They wanted to know if I’d go to war against Trinidad and I said I wouldn’t. I mean, how could I? So they wouldn’t let me join.

Mel takes a breath. isadub physically feels the blood draining from his brain.

Mel: You should watch the match. The English are boring, you know what I mean. Now we like to enjoy ourselves. Just watch the terraces. Now, don’t take offence but the Irish like to have fun. So do the Scottish. My parents came over from Jamaica and they said the Irish were good people.
isadub: Yeah, when the Irish are working, they work hard: and when they’re not, they have fun. You know, with your accountancy qualifications, you could live and work in Ireland or Scotland.
Mel: Oh my Gawd, it’s funny you said that. I’m going to enjoy this Summer because next Summer, I’ll be studying to finish my exams. It’s like an international qualification – I could go anywhere.
isadub: You could work in our Scottish office?
Mel: YEAH, I visited Scotland before and they were really nice people. (She meant the country rather than the Scottish office)
isadub: yeah they’re really nice people so anyway I’ll phone Simon in the morning no i won’t – he’ll be hungover look i gotta go goodbye just tell him I called good luck.